31 October, 2010

Dad has been running a fever any where from 99.1 to 102.0 over night and all day. His heart rate has been high between 79-92 . his respiratory is running fast then slow 15-28 . His breathing is very labor intensive for him. thus his body jerks as he breathes. No marbling of the skin or anything like that yet. his mucusy breathing is better when he has Morphine in him. he has been so rigged for so long and now he is like a rag doll. it is like he doesn't have to fight any more so he feels he can relax. Sorry this is short. I will post again if anything changes.

Jo Ellen

30 Oct. 2010

Today Dad is running a fever of 101.4 His heart rate is way up . This is due to his heart working hard to compensate for his organs that are shutting down. He having gurgling breathing and tries once in a while to cough up whatever it is but nothing comes up. his breathing is more labored. he is non responsive to his surroundings or anything I am doing to him (swabbing his mouth, Chap stick on his lips, cold cloth on his forehead, changing his diaper, etc.). No discoloration to his legs or feet yet. he is taking more Morphine for his pain he can have it up to every hour but currently is having it about every 4-6 hours. it depends on the day or the hour if he has 1/2 tablet or a whole one they are 15 mg. each. I am doing my best to keep his mouth moist so it does not bleed due to lack of moisture. I am also doing my best to comfort and do any other care needed. I kiss him on the cheek and tell him we all love him all the time. I also tell him it is ok to go and be with Mom and Grandma and Grandpa and Heavenly Father.

I believe I have contacted or at least tried and left messages of everyone I have a phone number for.

The Sister Missionaries came by today just to sing to Dad. I thought that was very kind of them.

Love you all
Jo Ellen

29 October , 2010

I know I just wrote but I ask you check this blog daily for updates from now until Dad passes. I may not be able to write every day but I will try.

Dad stopped eating completely after I wrote the blog the other day. Yes I still make an attempt to feed him but when he clamps his lips together like vice grips when you place food to his lips that is clearly a refusal so I wait and try in a minute or two and he does the same thing or you do by chance get a spoonful in his mouth but he does not swallow and you end up having to swab it out later because he what they call pockets his food. then it is all stuck on his gum's and dried.

The Nurse said this was what would happen and it is ok. So now the only food and liquids he gets is from swabbing his mouth out and the tinny ammount he gets in a suringe (orally) to give him his medicines. Not enough to be life sustaining.

He is caughing more and more because of mucus build up in his throat and lungs thus he is in more an more pain thus he is getting more Medicine for pain.

So I am telling all of you if you want to see Dad before he passes NOW is the time. As many of you know a person can live a while without food but not very long with out water.

when he gets into the active stage of dieing it will only be a matter of a day or two or even hours.
I know he knows what is happening to him and I know he is peaceful.

As I stated previously My home is always open. If you choose to stay else where I understand there is a B&B in town and a small old hotel and Keokuk Iowa has several newer hotels and such and is only a 30 min drive. all I ask is if you will send me an email letting me know who is coming. I understand if you choose to just go to the funeral. but let me know ahead so I can make the necessary arrangements. Dad asked that all the children be there thus money was set aside for airline tickets for the us children (sorry any spouses or grand children that wish to come will need to be paid by the individual family). There are a few things that will need to be done once we all arrive in Kalispell, Montana. Any flowers that we wish for him need to be chosen, Head stone picked out. etc. I know tha LaQuinta inn is near by and it is a nice place thus I thought I would just call and reserve all the rooms and get a better price sometimes they have bereavement prices. We are Talking Kailispell so be prepared there might be snow.


All other funeral expenses where prepaid and chosen. Unfortunatly him and mom did not purchas plots side by side at the same time but he will be as close to her as possible. there is 1 person between them.

So as I end this message today I want you to truly know how much I mean it when I say I LOVE YOU ALL and I MISS YOU so much. And I hope if I have offended any of you in any way I AM TRULY SORRY. I never intended to ever hurt or offend any of you. it pains my soul to think I might have hurt any of you I have always loved all of you.

Love
Jo Ellen

27 October, 2010

Today I have many thoughts and things that need to be said and hope that no offense is taken because none is meant.

We all know Dad is dieing this has been known for some time. Death is the end result of our life here on earth.
I know that many of the family members choose either to believe in no God (or a higher power) or choose not to worship God for one reason or another And some of us choose to Believe and worship God. This is how Families are. ours is no exception to the rule. Dad and Mom Both chose to raise us in a faith they knew to be true. I hope we can all respect there wishes and beliefs at this time.

Growing up we were all so close so forgiving and enjoyed being around each other. I know it is Dads wishes that all of us attend his funeral and put aside our differences for a few days. He wanted us to do something fun together as a family in remembrance of him and Mom. To be able to find forgiveness with each other and heal as a family. yes it will mean having patience , understanding , tolerances and letting the little things go like water of a ducks back.

We cannot continue hurting and having anger one toward another it causes to much heart ache and pain for all of us. We are all Adults and most of us have adult children of our own and grand children. Let us all act like adults and move forward instead of backwards. I know I miss each and every one of you every day.

Dad is passing away soon. His vitals are dropping and his organs are starting to shut down. He has finally given himself permission to move on. I know he has herd from most of you and would love to hear from all of you I think it would benefit him to hear you tell him he can go and be with Mom and Heavenly Father. please call any time of night or day I have my phone on 24-7 and I will place the phone to his ear so you can have closure with him. My phone number is 217-357-4898.

Today the Hospice nurse was here we talked about Dad and his vitals and what is happening to him. She agrees with me that he is calm and peaceful and accepting that fact that he is dieing. He is happy in his environment and this is good. She tells me I am giving him exceptional care. it makes me feel good but I still wonder if there is more I can do. She assures me I am doing better than the best.

Dads kidneys are shutting down. His urine is the color of rust and smells so strong. This is normal. Today his heart rate is 38 thus his heart is slowing down. His blood pressure at 3:00 PM was 84/60 his respiratory was 20 and less. less because he is having long periods of apnea (also to be expected). The only food he can eat right now is Applesauce he chokes on everything else even pudding now. and liquids are not even an option anymore he chokes on 1 ml of water that I dissolve his medications in. Dad only eats at the most 1 cup of food a day, any more and he refuses. He is in pain off and on and I have morphine for him when he is in pain. (hospice nurse has helped me to know what to look for to know if he is in pain or not.) So as you can see it will not be long that dad will be with us. Ann (the hospice nurse) feels that when the time comes he will just quietly pass in his sleep. She does not feel he is actively dieing yet but it will not be long. could be a week or two or more. it is all up to Dad now.

I f any of you choose to come and see him I have plenty of room and you are welcome. I also have skype if you would like to see him that way. the account that is open most of the time is i_b_don

I sleep down on the couch in the room he is in so he is not alone and I can help him if needed.

All My Love to you. Jo Ellen

20 October, 2010

I know I just updated the blog but the Hospice nurse was just here and I felt it necessary to inform you as to her findings.

Dads blood pressure is good as is his heart rate it is slow and steady. But he does have some rattling going on in his left lung. This is to be expected as his origins start to shut down. His kidneys are functioning less thus his urine is darker and more concentrated. He is more stiff and in more pain as to his Joints and movement. he is coughing more and it is more labored for him to recover his breath when he does cough.

The nurse has told me to up his morphine to 10 mg and to increase one of his other med's. thus helping him relax more and keep him out of pain.

he still has good days and bad days, days he eats and days he does not eat. but defiantly signs of his origins starting to shut down slowly. his skin is dryer and flaky especially on his scalp, forehead and nose. We keep putting a clinical streangth loation on it and it helps more than not.
over all things are going good and they keep telling me I am doing an excellent job.

They are so good and gentle with dad and it is great.

hope you are all well and good. Love you all
Jo Ellen

October 19, 2010

Hello everyone, I hope this finds you all well and Happy.

Life here in our house has been fairly routine.

Dad is doing fine. I have seen little declines here and there. it is now very rare to here him speak anything. I see him smile and even laugh once in a while. When he does speak it is barley a whisper and rarely is any one able to decipher what he is saying. He is coughing allot more especially at nigh so the doctor has prescribed 5 mg of Morphine dissolved with a very small amount of water when he goes to bed. this helps allot. He eats good off and on his pattern seams to be eat good 1-2 days don't eat at all for 3 days. he continues to loose weight a little here and a little there.

I gave dad a haircut the other day it is much nicer not to have snarls in the back of his head every day. Dad is getting more and more rigged and it is getting harder to get him to bend enough to sit in his wheel chair. This is to be expected. he will probably soon get to the point where we don't even get him out of bed. it causes him so much pain to bend those joints that have been stiff for so long.

A tender moment I must share with all of you. Yesterday I found the video that Hospice made of with Mom so I decided to play it for dad. He started to smile and he even started to cry I said are you sad dad he said no so I asked him are you happy he said yes. it touched him so much to hear moms voice. I have not seen him smile like that in a long time. How special it was. I am so glad I did that and I will play it for him again another day.

Other than that life is basically day to day the same. We are getting Eric ready to leave for his mission. He reports to the Missionary training center in Provo, Ut. December 15th. he will be there for several weeks learning to speak Spanish before being sent to Vancouver Canada mission. He is so exited and cant wait. He will be a great Missionary.

Love you all Jo Ellen

October 8 , 2010

Hello everyone ! I hope this finds all of you well. I know I have not posted an update on dad for a little while. We have been settling into a good schedule and things are going well. Hospice comes 3 times a week to bath dad. Also the hospice nurse comes once or twice a week to check on Dad and do his vitals etc. and about every other week the Hospice psychologist comes to see him and me.

Dad has had some decline but as the Hospice nurse told me it is to be expected. Not form any thing I have done but it is just the disease. She suspects dad will no longer be eating within the next few weeks. just from symptoms he is having and how it is getting so hard for him to swallow anything. It is always a hard swallow. he is getting more rigid and this makes it harder to move him around and dress. as of right now his lungs still sound clear and his belly sounds good. his blood pressure is good today. his kidney function is good. his weight is down to 147.4 as of yesterday even though he is eating very well. in fact he eats almost as much as Eric does.

The Hospice nurse and case worker said if anybody would like to talk to her about Dad that you can call her any time She would love to answer any questions and concerns you might have. Her name is Lynn Fecht and the Carthage Hospice number is 217-357-3222 Quincy number is 1-877-627-7610 just ask for her and they will probably send you to her voice mail just leave a message and she will call you back. as well as the psychologist is there for any of the family members for counseling or just a listening ear there is no charge for her services.

attached you will see pictures of the room where Dad's bed is and just a few other shots. Our cat Mr. Tickles who drools when he is happy and content, a flower, and a picture of our Dog Dipper who we had to put to sleep last month. He was about 10 years and had congestive heart failure and a huge mass in his chest cavity the vet said was probably cancer. We Love you and will miss you Dipper.

I love you all so much and want you to know I am giving Dad the best care possible.

Jo Ellen